Are American Generals in Afghanistan who have four stars
spending too much time in speakeasy Kabul bars?
Sent to that country their country to serve
they soon from the straight and narrow swerve.
As we contemplate the Mid-East slaughter
one must ask what they are imbibing with their mineral water.
Loose-lipped Stanley McChrystal was the first to take flight
when he just could not keep his mouth shut tight.
When David Petraeus was sent to take his place
nobody could have imagined he would end up in disgrace.
After being appointed to head the CIA
with a much younger woman he began to make hay.
Paula Broadwell told him if she wrote his biography sales would soar
even though she had never written anything before.
She very soon entered her subject’s good graces
and was sure of their liaison they would leave no traces.
Who could have thought the acclaimed American Spy
would soon be making his admirers cry?
U.S. allies could not believe the tightly-disciplined Yankee
would confess with his star-struck biographer he’d been playing hanky-panky.
She kept on and on David’s valiant deeds praising
as into his blue eyes she was gazing.
Nothing he ever did, even destroying villages, was wrong,
as she kept on singing her adulatory song.
But Petraeus, forced to resign in humiliating disgrace,
now had his furious wife to face.
Who out of the bag had let the cat?
Could it be a case of tit-for-tat?
How was his dalliance discovered one may well ask.
Who had taken him to task?
Who discovered that instead of catching enemy spies
to his wife he kept on telling lies.
Although David as a hero many would laud
there were others who thought he was a bit of a fraud.
They say his overweening self esteem
was starting to border on the extreme.
Jill Kelley, described as a Tampa “socialite”,
told an FBI friend she got a terrible fright
from threatening letters sent by someone without a name
and asked him to find out who was to blame.
Agent Fred Humphries, who doesn’t wear a shirt,
agreed he would help her to poke around in the dirt.
He soon discovered who sent the menacing mails
and Jill couldn’t wait into Paula Broadwell to dig her nails.
Now the plot is becoming so involved
one wonders whether it will ever be solved.
When he saw another General’s name appear
Fred rushed to his kitchen to gulp a beer.
Did John Allen, Petraeus’s successor as the Afghanistan Commander,
think he could conquer that country like the Great Alexander?
When it dawned on him for that he’d have to be spunky
he threw his hand in and instead became an e-mail junkie.
Fred couldn’t believe the treasure trove he found
when he traced the culprit to the ground.
Thousands of messages John was to Jill Kelley sending,
presumably when his elbow was bending.
Some e-mails, unnamed officials have said, they would rate
as being suggestive or inappropriate.
Most others are classified as being routine
although no-one seems to know what that might mean.
It should not to anyone come as a surprise
when looking at the huge bags under John Allen’s eyes
that make him look so very creepy
that his non-stop e-mailing means he’s always sleepy.
It is unlikely more generals will ask Broadwell their biographies to write
as they hope she will now keep out of sight.
Kelley seems to be suffering from generalitis, a medical condition
closely resembling another called extraordinary rendition.
Most troubling is how the American Chief Spook
so easily allowed Broadwell his goose to cook.
And it is sad to see how he looks so weak
when dressed without his medals piled up to his cheek.
Allen it seems constantly asked Kelley for advice
without even thinking about it twice.
Let us hope other countries will raise their collective voice
and give thumbs down to his NATO Supreme Commander choice.
If Hollywood or Cable decide to relate this sorry tale
of how top brass can be brought down by using too much e-mail,
we can only hope into it their best efforts they will throw
and produce it as a farce like those of Georges Feydeau.