The news is out for which the world waited
with what can only be described as breath that was bated.
Smart physicists claim to have discovered something named after a Mr. Higgs,
although skeptics say what they might have seen were flying pigs.
Some, when they heard what the geniuses thought they saw
were astonished that it had caused such awe.
They could not understand why a ship’s bosun named Higgs
should be better than others at climbing rigs.
Wiser heads said that was not the case
and their boson (with two “o’s”) had a different face.
We are warned confusing it with a Fermion might lead to consequences dire
so on this point it is best not to inquire.
There are those who find it very hard to believe
that in claiming ignorance of how particles acquire mass they are not trying to deceive.
There is no mystery about how I acquired the mass that is mine
when I’ve never been known to refuse any invitation to dine.
But Higgs is described as a particle subatomic
in no way connected with anything gastronomic.
Would not the billions spent on looking for it be more effective
if used to determine why the human race is so defective?