3 September 2011Tony Blair’s “Journey” that included tales of his George W. Bush years
is a book that caused me to shed bitter tears.
When I say I did not read “Decision Points” I’m accused of being a Bush hater,
but I just could not find a good translator.
It was no surprise that we next would hear
from America’s most infamous war profiteer.
Dick Cheney’s memoir “In My Time”
brags about his each and every crime.
He claims that everything he did was spot on
though most believed it was all a con.
He never made a mistake or put a foot wrong
even when demanding that Bush his wars prolong.
He plugged his book with Hannity, Fox’s off-the-wall czar
who once earned his keep by tending bar.
Everything Dick said a silent Sean lapped up
as he gazed at him like a love-sick pup.
It was essential to use torture and enhanced interrogation
if there was any hope of saving the nation.
He forgot to say on his watch much of his torture was outsourced
including the rendition that was enforced.
Guantanamo, he asserts, was a very comfortable site
to stay there prisoners fought to have the right.
It is rumored he wanted on it to put his stamp
by turning it into a holiday camp.
What might we learn from the book, what was new?
What would we hear about George W.’s crew?
On that subject many will find it hard to believe
that Condi is not only tearful and also naïve.
That Colin Powell by Dick is torn asunder
should not be the cause of any wonder.
While the General was answering the call to serve the nation
Cheney was learning how best to save his bacon.
To avoid going to Vietnam he had to find a way
to stay in local bars and with his pals make hay.
To get the multiple deferments he had to come up with a ruse
that with the Draft Board he could use.
His excuse was he had to finish his college course
before he could volunteer for any force.
To his delight no-one on his plan put the nix
when he claimed instead of four years it would take him six.
Having quickly learned how to break all the rules
he decided those who fought for their country were simply fools.
But it was O.K. for a V.P. to send young people to Iraq and Afghanistan
so long as they did not include any of his clan.
His Iraq liberation would be “an enormous success”
and it should not cause anyone distress.
When wallowing through all the bilge produced by Dick
I was reminded of someone I once heard about called Old Nick.
I saw no mention of the millions of dollars Halliburton to Nigeria had to pay
to get bribery charges against Dick dropped and save the day.
It might have been among the bits I skipped
in the many pages over which I flipped.
Cheney is not known to be particularly chatty
but when he does talk he comes off as batty.
He showed himself to be a splendid fella
when he opposed the release from prison of Nelson Mandela.
He did not see why Scooter Libby or anyone else should bear any blame
for outing covert CIA agent Valerie Plame
he will never acknowledge it was a big mistake
to have swallowed so much yellow cake.
He managed on West Virginian toes to tread
when he claimed that there they are all inbred.
He bragged his book so many people in Washington would goad
that all over the D.C. heads would explode.
One with whom he seems to be particularly chummy
is his crackpot mentor Donald Rummy.
He listens to him even when he on and on drones
about his many unidentified unknown unknowns.
What they have in common who can say.
Could it be the throes they faced day after day?
He admires Bush for choosing him as V.P. by some caprice
unaware Dick would turn out to be his Éminence Grise.
Still, his tome has brought together many a disparate type
among the multitude not persuaded by his hype.
Amnesty International, Ron Reagan, John Dean and Maureen Dowd
can be counted among the motley crowd.
But what do I see before my eyes?
Donald Trump accusing him of telling lies?
The Don who emerged as a Middle Earther
when he became the most vociferous birther?
Dick says he took his doctors’ advice
to insert in his bosom an electrical device.
But no mention of the medical quirk
used to sculpt on his face the Frankenstein smirk.
He says for weeks he was comatose
until finally they him unfroze.
Have they yet identified the quack
who brought our hero back?
When young I enjoyed being read stories that could be believed
and objected to those that always deceived.
So, as I did not have at hand a big enough dose of salt,
to reading Cheney’s fairy tale I had to put a halt.
It should not come as any great shock
that co-author Liz should be a chip off her old man’s block,