that I am totally ignorant about,
I fret when I realize of the answers I will never be aware
and end up in the depths of despair.
Among the many things I do not know
is why we call claret the wine that comes from Bordeaux.
Why did a lake in Chile go out of sight
when it suddenly disappeared overnight?
Cosmologists claim sapient beings exist far away from our Sun,
but if they are intelligent, would they not this planet shun?
Did the geniuses who said the moon is shrinking
make that announcement when their classes were clinking?
Are we to believe life exists far beyond the stars
and there shopping malls on Mars?
One claim I find very hard to swallow
is that the Earth is hollow.
I thought Newton on gravity said the last word
but that, of course, is quite absurd.
It seems Einstein had something to say about gravitation and flat space
and many others have now joined the race.
With no knowledge of this or that esoteric theory
I can tell you that, when on a cold winter morning I lie weary,
there is no greater gravitational pull
than a warm bed covered with blankets made of wool.
Did the universe begin when the Big Bang occurred?
It’s a theory about which some have demurred.
I can’t imagine why they don’t agree.
It’s more impressive than with a whimper it seems to me.
With so many UFO sightings being seen
are the observers drinking too much vodka or caffeine?
As they keep their eyes glued to the sky
could they be charged with the crime of SUI? (Sighting Under the Influence)
But my real concerns are more mundane
and the ones of which I most complain.
Why can’t airports be prepared for snow,
and why do men wear ties, are the things I really want to know.