and, curious, waited to hear their mendacious views.
To my surprise everything they said was bland
not at all reflecting Mr. Murdoch’s brand.
The usual suspects were not to be seen
and no-one vented any spleen.
Not a nasty word about anyone was said
making me think the world had turned on its head.
Where were Limbaugh or Glenn Beck, the most ferocious Obama hater,
or Sarah Palin, the great communicator?
No sight of Hannity, that right-wing czar
whose record shows he once tended bar.
Not a glimpse of Brit Hume, Fox’s Senior Analyst of things political,
who of Tiger Woods was supercritical.
He would be able, said Brit, to get rid of his sex addiction
if only he’d give up his Buddhist faith and become a Christian.
He was applauded by Ann Coulter, who is clearly demented,
when she told a Jewish interviewer, and never relented,
that he could only be saved if he followed her advice
and became a disciple of her Christ.
What had gone wrong I had to find out
and determine what had caused the Fox News drought.
What steps could I take to get the mystery solved
without myself becoming involved?
My only hope would be to try
to find a Fox News Channel disgruntled spy.
It was in fact easy when I met someone who said things had gone too far
when he had to listen while Creationist Huckabee tortured his guitar.
He told me every day to Fox News headquarters a woman came
but unfortunately he did not know her name.
She was hustled into what, if I can believe my mole,
is the commentators’ and analysts’ private watering hole.
She always arrived with a bulging briefcase
that was always empty when she left the place.
His conclusion was she was the one who brought instructions
about how the Fox News charlatans could raise their ructions.
But yesterday she did not show
apparently held up by the snow.
That made Glenn Beck almost explode with exasperation
when he screamed “Where the b*l*a*n*k is that b*l*a*n*k*i*n*g Miss Information?
fair and balanced