It is time Christmas carols were brought up to date
We three kings of Orient are
to see Baby Jesus we journeyed afar.
The going was hard for it sure isn’t comfy
to ride on a camel whose hump is quite lumpy.
The bitter winds blew us
sand storms almost slew us.
Still, we beat all the odds ‘til we came to the manger,
and shrugged off the perils that put us in danger.
We finally made it and presented our gifts
but what they should be had caused a few rifts.
Mary received them with apparent great joy
though we heard later on she’d have welcomed a toy.
We had followed the star and with consciences clear
set off for our homes and a really cold beer.
We felt very pleased that we’d met with our quest
and were sure none would grudge us our well-deserved rest.
When we turned on the tele and were quenching our thirst
the news said the Coming was only the first.
There would be a second, but no-one knew when
so it seems we are destined to set off again.
But there’s one thing we all are determined about
so we make it known now to dispel any doubt.
The next time we journey, to avoid stress and strain
our travel will be ..… business class in a plane.