Many in the United States their Constitution laud
and its elegant language they applaud.
Its preamble, a single sentence, contains a nicely chosen phrase
that is well deserving of their praise.
But its most ardent admirers are obviously those
who have never read the rest of its prose.
If they did they might ask why, if it is so splendid,
do they keep on having to amend it?
It sets out what should be each right
to be enjoyed by all, so long as they are male and, of course, also white.
Twenty-seven are the amendments now in place
and to add even more there is an unending race.
It might be questioned why so many legislators want them to expand
when it is clear the present ones they do not understand.
I refer specifically to how many of them construe
the second amendment, or number two.
That is the one that gun lovers always quote
and to legislators who support them promise their vote.
If they knew their own language they would see a vital key
is in the preamble’s reference to the people by the collective “We”.
Is it useless to hope they might be made to comprehend
it means only a militia has a right to bear arms and the people defend.
In no way whatsoever can it be deemed to profess
that individuals should guns be allowed to possess.
The amendment does not give everyone the right
to blast out of existence any living thing in sight.
It was never the intention that kids should be shot at bus stops
or customers slaughtered in malls when visiting shops.
There is nothing in it that specifically rules
that students be mowed down in their schools.
Could the Founding Fathers ever have imagined a day would come
when a vice president could nonchalantly shoot his chum?
President Bush was asked by a dim-witted minion
if he would enlighten the public with his opinion.
As the amendment, or indeed the Constitution, he had never read,
George W. requested an explanation from Moses instead.
No, not the one who was born in the land of Egypt.
It was the other one who had his Roman tunic ripped
as was seen on the screen when he played Ben Hur,
the film in which chariot races were just a blur.
Charlton Heston, long-time president of the NRA,
asked George W. to kneel down with him so they both could pray.
They asked the Lord for his divine permission
to give everyone the right to have ammunition.
His prayer answered, the President said he had seen the light
and to hold weapons every citizen indeed had the right.
There was one exception he would have to make
as he pointed out the amendment’s huge mistake.
Though its drafters it was not his intention to fault,
he thought before writing they may have imbibed too much malt.
If when checking it they had been more meticulous
they would have seen a militia with the right to bare arms is quite ridiculous.
In his view any militia with arms that were bare
could never be expected an enemy to scare.
An opponent would be sure the President had gone totally barmy
if he sent out to fight them a sleeveless or tank top army.
When the NRA guys heard the President’s explanation
They could hardly contain their jubilation.
Others, however, asked themselves if and when
a medic could be persuaded to summon the white-coated men.