I have written, and write, verses on different subjects,including politics. Some are satiric and some, I hope, amusing. Feel free to comment.

January 29, 2010

George W. Lays It Bare, or Will the President Make Amends?

Written when George W. was still President

Many in the United States their Constitution laud
and its elegant language they applaud.
Its preamble, a single sentence, contains a nicely chosen phrase
that is well deserving of their praise.

But its most ardent admirers are obviously those
who have never read the rest of its prose.
If they did they might ask why, if it is so splendid,
do they keep on having to amend it?

January 27, 2010

Now He’s a Believer, or Is Tony Born Again?

Written in March 2006. Tony Blair decided to blame his God for Iraq although a Prime Minister who invokes the Almighty is not looked upon very well in Britain. But Tony was obviously under the influence of his pal George.

Mounting the platform on centre stage,
he lectured us a war we had to wage.
to destroy the weapons he said they’d found
hidden deep in Saddam’s ground.

January 25, 2010

The Frontiersman Rides Again (in his SUV),or The Shot Heard Round the Planet

Written when Vice President Dick Chenry -- or rather his friend -- had his unfortunate hunting accident.

Gather round while I tell the tale
of how Dick Cheney hunted quail.
Not wild, of course, but especially bred
as easy targets for the hunters’ lead.

Dick stumbles to his SUV
keen to start his shooting spree.
If he’d kept in mind his DUIs
he’d have stuck to Coke and been seen as wise.

January 18, 2010

Hail the Conquering Hero

Chapter 7.

Good morning Mr. President.

Good morning. When we last met I said I wanted you to tell me about José Aznar. He seems quite an interesting guy. Very upbeat.

He is probably still basking in the glory of his country's victory at the Battle of Parsley Island.

I'm glad you mentioned that. Just as I was leaving for the Azores, one of my advisers told me to ask him about parsley. I thought that, for once, I might have misunderstood. There suddenly seems to be an awful lot of talk about food. First Tony Blair goes on about eggs and then my guys asked me to talk to José Aznar about parsley. I was beginning to wonder if I was missing something.

No, Mr. President, you were not mistaken. The reference was to Isla del Perejil, known in English as Parsley Island, which is just off the Moroccan coast, close to Spain, and claimed by the Spaniards.

January 14, 2010

The Bob Woodward Story, Part II,

(written in October 2006)

Quick, finish dinner! At the TV we must look
to hear Woodward plug his latest book.
It’s easy to learn Bob’s point of view
for he’s on the networks, and on cable too,

As we wait for his findings to be revealed
we hope that nothing will be concealed.
Will he throw any light on that odd love affair
between George Bush and Tony Blair?

January 13, 2010

The Bob Woodward Story, Part I

The Bob Woodward Story, Part I, or How to Make a Sharp U-Turn
(written on 8 May 2006)

Two young reporters, like all their kind,
yearned to escape their daily grind.
Keen they were, enthusiastic,
and prayed they’d clinch that scoop fantastic.

Little did they dream that fate
would lay before them Watergate,
and all the President’s men’s skullduggery
best described perhaps as thuggery.

January 11, 2010

The White House Square Dance

The follow was written during the Gang of Four's time in the White House

The Gang of Four’s White House Square Dance

Take your partner, make your bow.
A Wrong Way Promenade we disallow.
What the caller prompts, say, a Half Sashay,
you must all be ready to obey.

As this square is not aligned
the change we make you must not mind.
To the caller we request you do not yell
when he insists one Beau must be a Belle.

Looking at his feet with a puzzled frown,
Bush sees one shoe black and one shoe brown.
He, who has never been described as deft,
asks which is right and which is left.

January 6, 2010

A Child's Point of View

Verses written by a child -- or by me when I was a child

Why is it that when grownups talk to us
it is usually to make a fuss?
They are always quick with their do not’s and do’s
and seldom listen to our views.

When Mom asked if I could try
to get the baby not to cry,
I thought I’d recite him my little verse,
but I’m afraid that only made him worse.

On Sundays when we picnic in the park
we make sure to go before it’s dark.
I always remember to brush my pants
and leave crumbs behind for the hungry ants.

January 5, 2010

Plain Speaking -

Chapter 18. Let Us Give Honours….The list of British honours has just been announced and the President wants to learn about it, especially about honours to entertainment figures.

President: What about the Rolling Stones guy, Mick Jagger, who seems to have been around for a long time? I hear he has suddenly become a Sir.

Reporter: Ah, that was a very special, one might even call it, to use one of your favourite words, a pre-emptive, case. You see, Sir, it was noticed recently that an alarming affliction has been spreading among young people in Britain, which the medical profession has named forebear phobia, and which might well spread to other countries if not quickly brought under control.

January 4, 2010

Greenspan Revisited*

When Greenspan at last decided to the Fed bid farewell
the consensus was that the job he did had been swell.
There were a few, however, who had not been impressed
and his unrelenting rate cutting left them distressed.

Why, they asked, punish those who managed their incomes with thrift
just to give the profligate spenders an interest cut gift?
Why his stubborn defence of deregulation
that gave hedgers and derivers irresistible temptation?

On reflection, were the admirers who said what he did was a miracle
expressing themselves in a manner satirical?
How else to explain the sudden about face
by the sycophants who swore no-one him could replace?

Distressed is a condition Greenspan admits he now feels
as from the torrent of criticism he unsteadily reels.
He also confesses he has been embarrassingly humbled
as he sees how his reputation has so rapidly crumbled.

Bob Woodward, in his customary hero-worshipping obsequious tone,
insisted as a money man Greenspan stood all alone.
“Maestro” was the name with which he would Alan baptize,
baffled that his hero will never get the Nobel Prize.

Will Bob, when he learns that Greenspan himself admits the disaster
be able to explain why he determined to name him the “Master”?
Will he be forced to utter a dejected “good grief”
when he learns of his hero’s state of shocked disbelief?

As Alan admits he only now knows the destructive power of wanton mortgage lending
does it mean he spent the intervening years in irrational exuberant elbow-bending?
So beware, you who do not once again wish down the river to be sold
for your idol may have feet of clay, though its head be made of gold.
*Written on 4 November 2008

Plain Speaking - Index

I wrote about events as they occurred. In the coming days I shall be posting selections from the chapters, not necessarily in date order.

1. Foreign Affairs 16 January 2003
2. The Lay of the Land 24 January 2003
3. Oh! Canada 25 January 2003
4. Me and My Shadow 26 January 2003
5. Explosive Issues 14 February 2003
- Tony’s conversation with Cherie 16 February 2003
6. The French Disconnection 25 March 2003
7. Hail the Conquering Hero 26 March 2003
8. Plain Speaking 01 April 2003
- Tony’s conversation with Cherie 03 April 2003 9. No Known Cure 10 April 2003
10. Wrap the Duct Tape Round Me 22 April 2003
11. The Rocky Road to Nowhere 25 April 2003
12. Oh, What a Tangled Web 31 August 2003
13. O, Sole Mio 02 September 2003
- Tony’ conversation with Cherie 03 September 2003
14. A Fishy Tale 08 October 2003 - Tony’s conversation with Cherie 12 October 2003
15. Uneasy Lies the Head….. 17 November 2003
- Tony’s conversation with Cherie 19 November 2003
16. How Now Brown Cow 25 November 2003 - Tony’s conversation with Cherie 27 November 2003
17. A Mystery Solved 10 December 2003 - Tony’s conversation with Cherie 12 December 2003
18. Let Us Give Honours Where Honours Are Due 03 January 2004
19. A Most Singular Party 05 January 2004
- Tony’s conversation with Cherie 07 January 2004
20. Everything You’ve Always Wanted To Know 15 June 2004
21. The Law’s DeLay 14 July 2004
- Tony’s conversation with Cherie 20 July 2004
22. What’s in a Name? 28 January 2005
Epilogue 13 July 2006
Who’s Who

January 2, 2010

New Enquiry: Blair's War

Now that the British Government has appointed a group of notables, headed by Sir John Chilcot, to look into the role played by Britain in the Iraq War, and known as the Chilcot Enquiry, should not the public in the U.S. and Britain, and elsewhere, be given a chance to find out, from an informed, impartial and objective source with no axe to grind or scores to settle, what really happened during the most crucial years in office of President George W. Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair?

Plain Speaking describes their exchanges during their frequent meetings and telephone conversations. Besides giving an insight into how they reached some of their decisions about the war, it covers a wide range of subjects including the British Honours System, the Queen’s hats, the U.N. Secretary General’s haddock concern, the French disconnection and many more.

January 1, 2010

But Where’s the Hole?*

A young woman named Rachel Ray
appears on television day after day.
to show off all her cooking skills.
like chopping, frying, baking and using grills.

Her performances can be quite charming
though her exuberance is at times alarming.
When it seems she may bounce right off the screen
we assume she has imbibed too much caffeine.