When Eliot Spitzer was forced on tv to own up to his disgrace
can anyone forget wife Silda’s stricken face?John Edwards, when caught out in his affair
about ailing wife Elizabeth seemed not to care.
We all know that Newt Gingrich’s marital story
is not one that covers him in glory.
Has it not always seemed quite absurd
that from their long-suffering spouses never heard is a word?
Then, pining to be close to one he calls his soul mate,
Governor Mark Sanford moved the Appalachian mountains to the River Plate.
It never occurred to him wife Jenny would get up and go
forgetting, perhaps, that she is the one who has the dough.
When we hear about this and that humiliated wife
do we not all hope one day one of them will pull a knife?
But wait! They finally found their defender
and the result was a spectacular fender-bender.
Does Tiger really think his irresistible charms
are what make women throw themselves into his arms?
Has he never wondered about his greatest attraction,
the one that gets him all the action?
Even his most ardent admirers would have to admit
that he lacks the appeal of Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt.
It boggles the mind to imagine any woman becoming swooney
over a guy who is the very opposite of dishy George Clooney.
Tiger will have to accept that his place among the much pursued heroes
is simply because his bank account is loaded with zeros.
When the next wife feels the urge to wallop her lying and cheating man
she should be sure to have at hand an old fashioned cast iron frying pan