For years we have seen actors, models, and this and that sports hero,
some with dancing talents close to zero,
join with professionals who teach them steps both slow and quick
and how to do a neat high kick.
A few have earned admiring applause
while others produced amused guffaws.
Some feeble attempts made us dread
when we saw a victim stumble and fall on his or her head.
What is the purpose of such a sad display?
To show us the contestants have feet of clay?
The producers should not be annoyed
if we suspect they want us to experience shadenfreude.
They cannot have asked Tom DeLay, known as The Hammer
because he’d add to the contest a touch of glamour.
Did they decide he should be invited
simply because he has been indicted?
Did they think it was time the show to assist
by giving it a different twist?
There is indeed a wealth of talent in the political sphere
whose performances to viewers would bring good cheer.
Let us hope I will not be maligned
if I mention a few more whose names come to mind.
Governor Mark Sanford might delight with the new fandango
known as the Appalachian Tango.
Then Sarah Palin could do a turn
and the audiences’ applause would surely earn
as at the prize she takes a shot
by performing the Alaska Turkey Trot.
Carl Rove, who uncannily resembles a puffed-up slug,
might be asked again to cut a rug
as he did at a presidential roast,
an exhibition onlookers agree was toast.
And who better than Rush Limbaugh, alias The Blob,
to entertain the expectant mob?
He would put the numbers up in any poll
if he performed the step known as the Jelly Roll.
All reading this will surely agree
if these suggestions were followed by ABC,
and they asked those named to cut a dash,
the result would be a resounding smash.