Be Careful or the Mobiles Will Catch You

When in Mexico City Andrea Benítez was unable
to be seated without reservation at a restaurant table
instead of conducting herself in a manner sensible
onlookers described her behaviour as reprehensible.

She flew into a frenzied rage
and swore against the owner a war she would wage.
An empty threat, perhaps, by someone unstable
and out of control because she could not get a table?

But Andrea is not just an ordinary chick
a fact she made known very quick.
As the daughter of Mexico’s head of customer protection
she decided she could order a restaurant inspection.

The deed was done when someone in dad’s office recommended
the restaurant’s services be suspended.
When a health inspector was sent to find that everything was not honky dory
Andrea thought that would be the end of the story.

To do what she did it is essential
to be what is known as an “influential”.
They are the ones with very good connections
and their, or their families’, underlings always follow their directions.

Alas, in the restaurant the mobile phones taking pictures were all in motion
and when posted on the social media they caused such commotion
that dad Humberto for her had to express his pain
and promise it would never happen again.

Not even in a humble greasy spoon will Miss Benítez now find it easy to get a table
even when there are plenty available.
Meanwhile, the Máximo Bistrot’s owner, instead of seeing it closed day and night,
at all the free publicity must be feeling unreserved delight.

Margaret Thatcher’s Swan Song

Former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has finally left
and her many admirers are feeling bereft.
Others, however, have a different view
and describe the baroness as a hard-hearted shrew.

A state funeral will be provided, although they do not call it that,
but to pay for it to taxpayers they will pass the hat.
Big Ben will be silent as the gun carriage wends its way
and the horses pulling it have been forbidden to neigh.

Rumour had it at the Palace they think for a politician that is over the top
but they could not find a way to such nonsense put a stop.
The Queen has been advised she and her husband the funeral should attend
even though it must be sending poor Philip round the bend.

The guest list for the occasion has this and that surprise
in the names of those chosen to commemorate her demise.
They include such eminences as Jeremy Clarkson, the guy of Top Gear,
who is just waiting for the day he will be dubbed as a peer.

Nelson Mandela, called a terrorist by Thatcher, is on the list,
but because of infirmity has had to resist.
We will never know if Madiba for her affront decided to forgive her,
but perhaps his best revenge is being able to outlive her.

No Pinochet family member, it seems, has been asked to attend
which, if Margaret only knew, it would her surely offend.
Augusto was her knight in shining armour
and, even while tossing bodies into the sea, never tried to harm her.

Still, a women becoming Prime Minister was no mean task,
and in her achievement she could rightfully bask.
She was able to break the old boys’ glass ceiling
and left her male colleagues squealing and reeling.

David Cameron’s performance almost beggars belief
as he tries to take on the role of mourner in chief.
Does David, who was brought up as a toff,
hope some of Margaret’s grocer’s daughter aura on him will rub off?

In Rome a Vacancy is announced

When Pope Benedict XVI said he would step down
and cast aside his Papal crown
it was not long before many people wanted to know
if it was his own choice or if he was persuaded to go.

He is following the example of his namesake Benedict Nine
who, after being Pope three times, decided to finally resign.
He did so because he could no longer resist the appeal
of bribes offered by Gregory the Sixth who was impatient to get his hands on the papal
seal.

Teetering on the Edge of the Fiscal Cliff

In other countries, instead of being elated,
people are indignant and discombobulated
when Americans say they should devise a scheme
that would allow them to emulate the American dream.

Gadgets, New and Old

When asked if I have the latest “i”.
“I already have two” I am tempted to reply.
But I am careful the question not to trivialize
because I know people are very serious about their “i’s”,

To buy the latest gadgets I am not prone
so I have no iPod, iPad or even iPhone.
Sad to say I now an old friend must avoid
because he insists what I need is an android.

Stars Get in Their Eyes

Are American Generals in Afghanistan who have four stars

spending too much time in speakeasy Kabul bars?

Sent to that country their country to serve

they soon from the straight and narrow swerve.

As we contemplate the Mid-East slaughter

one must ask what they are imbibing with their mineral water.

Loose-lipped Stanley McChrystal was the first to take flight

when he just could not keep his mouth shut tight.

Newton Did Not Make the Apple Fall

Apple produced its iPad4 a few months after its iPad3.
Far too short a time it seems, and not only to me.
They also launched their iPhone5
when their iPhone4 didn’t long survive.

If they brag about the qualities of their latest oeuvre
why so quick to say it will no longer serve?
Has it not yet on their customers dawned
that they are being craftily conned?